My beautiful cousin sister is no more with us. For some strange reason God decided to take her away yesterday.

Having no siblings of my own, she had always been my big sister, from tucking me to bed when we were together to sharing giggles and goofs and every moment of our life until yesterday. We were as close as sisters could be, being there for each other always, always… from just being sisters, wanting to dress alike, to trying out clothes, doing each others hair, sharing secrets and through every step of our life when we were grown. First love, weddings, birth of children – we were together; did not matter if we were near or far. She was one of the very few people who understood me and probably many others without many words. I feel that hopeless void inside me as I am going over all the moments of our lives together.

She was there for my family, my children, who affectionately called her “Pinky Dinky Doooooo” . She was Pinki to the family, Mousumi to some, Didibhai to me and a trusted friend to all.

She was that shining soul that spread joy every where she went, and spent her entire life “being there” for whoever needed her, including me and I am sure every single person who knew her would have the same to say. She pulled me through the most difficult time of my life, when my mom passed away, being there every single second of those few months by my side. She was my strength, my support and my role model. I can not believe that life is making me write all these – in past tense. I cannot believe she is gone. Her photographs remain smiling down at us, full of joy, happiness, and life with the same understanding eyes that I often looked up to.

I am holding on to her smile, her voice, her garments, her most treasured photographs and the little treasures that she had left with me when they left US to go back to India, hoping that they could come back soon. It is a pain so intense and I haven’t felt it since I lost my maa.

The last few words I heard from her was “When my arms can’t reach the people who are close to my heart, I hug them with my prayers”.

We need your prayers to get us through this, especially her husband and the beautiful 2 year old daughter that she left behind. Please keep us in your prayers.

Didibhai, I miss you and haven’t figured out how to deal with these tears and a life ahead without you. You have been a rock to me to hold on to whenever I needed or a phone call away even if I had to talk out a dream I had and laugh about it. I love you and hope you are watching over us.